JOY!

I had the best weekend! Despite new COVID restrictions, and rain and all the things that are wrong, I found joy. On Friday, I had wine with my friend Lesley. We teach together, so we figure we have each other's germs. It's a hard, hard time to be a teacher and the staff room is closed which means no venting with other teachers. But I have Lesley. Since we've known each other for 20 years, we can be totally honest and open and that is such a relief.

On Saturday, I spent the whole day with Serene. We walked and talked for hours in Pacific Spirit Park and it was lovely, especially since the rain held off. We had lunch at Burgoo and coffee at Caffe Artigiano. She is my one friend if I have to choose just one according to Dr Henry's new rules. She is my support, my shoulder to cry on, the person who makes me laugh, the person who asks me challenging questions that (annoyingly) make me think for days, my best friend.

On Sunday, we went to church as a family and that was the icing on the cake. I actually love that there is no Sunday school because it means that the whole family sits together. The worship was amazing (even while wearing a mask). Pastor Brett finished the sermon series on Lamentations. I love that my church would choose to preach through such a difficult and yet so timely book of the Bible. We serve a God who remembers, reigns and restores. Could there be a better message for today? I left church on cloud nine. I'm so, so grateful for my church; every Sunday fills me up to face the week ahead.

In the evening, Emmi and I decorated the Christmas tree. It's way too early, but I don't care. Staring at the lights on the tree brings me joy. Next week at church we start a series on Advent, looking forward to Christmas. Yes, it will look different. Yes, I will miss Christmas concerts and parties and markets. But, Christmas will still be full of joy because I will choose joy and because Jesus came.

Eeyore

 It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.

"Hello Eeyore," said Pooh.

"Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet," said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice.

"We just thought we'd check in on you," said Piglet, "because we hadn't heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay."

Eeyore was silent for a moment. "Am I okay?" he asked, eventually. "Well, I don't know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That's what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. Which is why I haven't bothered you. Because you wouldn't want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now."

Pooh looked at Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.

Eeyore looked at them in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"We're sitting here with you," said Pooh, "because we are your friends. And true friends don't care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are."

"Oh," said Eeyore. "Oh." And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better.

Because Pooh and Piglet were There.

No more; no less.

My grandfather's Bible

 I came upon my grandfather's Bible in Hope. My grandfather was a pastor. He was funny, a really great speaker and a man of integrity. He often told stories about the war and how his spiritual life was drying up and how God met him there in the bunker. He had a personal story or anecdote in every sermon. He loved God and my grandmother and his family and lived that out every day of his life. He wrote and translated hundreds of hymns and lived and breathed music. He really was an exemplary man of God.

So anyway. I came upon his Bible. When he passed away 17 years ago, one of the things my mom wanted to inherit was his Bible and it has found its way to the cabin in Hope. As I was looking for something, I came upon it in the drawer. It is falling apart and full of notes. It has clearly been read and studied. A LOT. This challenges me, but also makes me so grateful. I am challenged because I am not sure that my own devotional life is anywhere near what his was. Granted, he was a pastor, but still. Some of the notes are written in the margins and some have been type written, possibly for sermon notes. His old Bible fills me with gratitude, for him, and for my believing family in general. I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about what I would change in my family. I have to say that I wouldn't change anything. I know that sounds so self righteous and obviously, my family isn't perfect. But, it is loving and close knit. More importantly, I have a heritage of faith that I wouldn't change for anything. 

I love autumn

 "Autumn is a season gentle to the weary. I love the juxtaposition of the fierceness and fire of the trees against the hushed grey of days that know they are dying into winter...I'm full of the fiery joy and grey-skied exhaustion all at once".

Fall is my favourite. I love the warm colours, the candles, bundling up, pumpkin everything, and the process of everything dying for a time. I have quite a few friends who like to garden and their favourite season is (unsurprisingly) spring. I do love spring too, but it doesn't speak to me like fall does. Winter, on the other hand, is a little too bleak and has seemingly very little life in it. Fall, however, is more about things going to sleep. Incidentally, sleep is one of my favourite things, lol. 

October is my favourite month. Even though I love the feeling of returning to order and schedules and school resuming in September, I always find September to be a little chaotic. This year, with COVID in the picture, I found it took longer than usual to find a rhythm for our schedule. But I always love October. I love having established routines. I love that our lives have structure. I also love the crisper, cooler air. I am more than a little obsessed with cardigans and in October, I can wear a cardigan every day. I love the vibrant colours of trees that seem to be on fire. I love that it gets darker earlier, but not as dark as winter. I love the fog that often lingers in the morning. I feel like in October, with Thanksgiving, it's okay to slow down and appreciate what I have. I feel like fall is more conducive to curling up with a good book and a cup of tea. This brings joy to my introverted soul.

This weekend, we're spending Thanksgiving in Hope. It's bittersweet since last year we were here as the extended family and my dad was here. It's really awful that he is gone and some days the grief is crushing. But so far this weekend, I have been able to count my blessings. I have so much to be grateful for.

The Weekend

What a lovely weekend. On Friday, there was an in person women's night at my church. There was singing and beautiful sharing and prayer and fellowship. If I'm honest, when I got home from work, I didn't really feel like going. But, I had already registered and committed to helping out, so I dragged myself there. It was so worth it! The picture is from the event. One of the many things I love about my church is that everything is done with a lot of planning and forethought. There were table cloths and flower arrangements and chocolates. But there were also stamped journals and Bible verses that were beautifully lettered with the theme of the evening: flourishing in the waiting. Nothing ever feels last minute or slapped together at my church and I really love that.

On Saturday I had a leisurely morning and then headed out for lunch with Serene. We didn't have a plan, but decided to go to Tacofino. It was so yummy. Then, as we walked in gastown, we came across a cafe called Milano Espresso Lounge. Their lattes were delicious and way better than Starbucks. The vibe was also not so generic; I really liked their industrial decor. After coffee, we went to Pacific Spirit park for a walk. It was a lovely, crisp autumn day; what a perfect day for a walk. Even though there were too many (unleashed) dogs out, it still remains my favourite place to walk.

In the evening, I just wanted to crash on the couch. But, our neighbours had invited us over for some drinks. We sat on their deck and probably annoyed their neighbours with all our laughter. It was most likely one of the last nights that sitting outside will even be possible with the weather changing, so it was really nice. There were blankets and string lights and candles and wine.

Today, we went to church as a family. I am so, so glad that we are able to go in person. I've already blogged about it before, so I won't get into it again. But I have to mention that the sermon was on racism and it was so powerful and true. All are created equal with inherent dignity and value, created in the image of God. It really isn't more complicated or nuanced than that. Racism is a sin and a misunderstanding of justification and the gospel. 

Introverted

 I am an introvert. This often surprises people because I can be quite social and I am not quiet. In fact, people often laugh and don't believe me. But usually they just don't really understand what an introvert is. An introvert is not necessarily shy or quiet or antisocial. The defining characteristic of an introvert is how we refuel or get energy. Extroverts are energized by socializing. Introverts are not. This does not mean that we don't like socializing; it means we find it draining. Recharging requires alone time. I can be very social and enjoy hanging out with some of my friends. But, then I require time alone. Some people drain me a lot, some people less so. But being around people in general, is draining.

 But once in a blue moon, you might find someone who does not drain your energy, even after hours of socializing. Someone who actually fills you up. That rare person who somehow manages to energize you. You spend hours and hours together and somehow you feel better after spending time with them. Your heart is full and you don't need time to recharge afterwards. This is a minor miracle. 

Things I thank COVID for:

 Living in a pandemic sucks in a lot of ways. There are things I can't do, my movements are restricted, work is weird, the economy is tanking. But, there are some silver linings, things that I am glad for:

-I don't need to shake hands with anyone. I've never liked this practise and I hope it's gone forever.

-not being hugged by people. I love hugs, but only from a VERY small handful of people. Everyone else can keep six feet away. Forever.

-parents can't come into schools. This is especially helpful in kindergarten when kids cry until their parents leave and are then fine. No hovering helicopter parents is great!

-restaurants are not busy and are actually extra clean. Bathrooms are cleaned all the time.

-meet the teacher night is cancelled. Since I am both a parent and a teacher, this actually frees up FOUR evenings. Yay!

-all meetings are virtual. This means taking meetings at home, in my pajamas, on the sofa. Or, I can listen to the meeting and multitask. Last week during a zoom meeting, I baked banana loaf. Today, I cleaned my kitchen.

-there's less traffic. It seems to be increasing every day, but overall, there is still less traffic than "normal".

-most things require registration which means if you have registered, you have a spot. No more line ups

-congregating and socializing are discouraged at church, at schools, at work. This means NO small talk!!!

I'm sure there are lots more but these are the ones that come to mind right now...