Looking back, we can see God's hand in so many things, big and small, throughout the time of his illness, starting with my brother Henry. He and his wife had been living in Thailand for 12 years and last year he had an inexplicable, unshakeable feeling that they should move to Vancouver. Packing up their lives in Thailand and transitioning from their respective jobs took some time. All of this was being planned before we had any idea that my father would be diagnosed with cancer. But, my brother was able to move home in September and spend lots of time with my dad. This was a big deal since he has lived on a different continent from my dad for over 20 years. This was the hand of God.
Also last year, my parents had bought a condo in a new development, thinking they would finally downsize. But as tends to happen, the completion date kept getting pushed further and further back. Meanwhile, my brother Tim and his family sold their condo. They needed a bigger place and weren't sure how and where to make that happen. So, they moved in with my parents. All of this was also set in motion before my dad even got diagnosed. It was clearly all meant to be. While my dad was ill, my brother Tim and his wife Mimmi were there to support not just my dad, but also my mom. Their two kids provided a welcome distraction. Now that my dad has passed, my mom does not have to live alone. She has company 24-7. Not only that, but her condo still isn't ready. I imagine that when it finally is completed, my mother will be able to move into a smaller home that in the end, ends up being perfect for one.
For me, I see the hand of God in the friends that I have made and the Bible study that I completed in the summer. Despite everything, I was able to keep my eyes on eternity because of the Bible study that focused on the big picture, God's one big plan for everything. I have blogged about the study before, but I really feel like it was filling me up all summer long for hard days to come. I don't think that timing was coincidental that I received news of my dad's diagnosis the very day that the study ended. I also don't think it's a coincidence that during one of the hardest times of my life, God sent me a beautiful new friend. A friend who has been there for me, supporting me and loving me. A friend who has faithfully prayed for me and my family. Our friendship is not unlike the friendship of David and Jonathan and I know how rare that is; I thank God for her.
I can also see the hand of God in my father's illness. I don't mean that God caused it, but that He was present and loving despite the cancer. For example, my dad's cancer had already spread to his bones and lungs by the time he was diagnosed. Despite this fact, my father had very little pain. He managed on regular Tylenol for pain management. This is a miracle in itself since cancer in the bones is known to be very painful. Cancer in the lungs is also painful and causes all kind of respiratory issues, and yet my father had none of those.
My sister saw the hand of God in her work situation. She had a baby in March and somehow (accidentally?) ended up applying for all her leaves at once. This meant that not only was she available a lot during my dad's illness, but also that now that my mom needs a lot of support, my sister is off work until September. This is an unexpected blessing and again, something that was set in motion before my dad was even diagnosed.
My friend, who I know was praying for my family, told me after my dad's passing that a few days before, she had felt strongly that she should pray for someone in the family to be able to let go. My sister in turn, felt strongly at the hospital the night before my dad passed that she needed to let go and pray for my dad's suffering to be over. God moved my friend to pray for my sister to be able to let go.
Of course a cynic or one who chooses not to believe in God can attribute all of these "miracles" to coincidence. At the end of the day, what can't be denied however, is that we had hope. Throughout my father's illness and even now that he has passed away, we have hope. We know that he died when his number of days (set before the creation of the world) were up. His life was and is, always in God's hands. And we will see him again. We know that. We have hope. So, even though we are sad, we are NOT hopeless. This was not goodbye, but just see you later.
