Monday, December 31, 2018

Highlights of 2018

2018 was a spectacularly good year. I got to go to Florida twice, to Victoria, to Powell River, on two different weekend retreats, my brother from Thailand visited twice, I got to sing in Good Noise, the kids new K-12 school opened...the list goes on. But really, when I try to sum it all up, it comes down to having a fabulous husband who lets me do all these things. I know feminists would probably take offence at my using the word" lets", but there is no other word. When I went to Florida (alone) in March, he was the one who stayed with the kids. When I went downtown every Monday and on concert weekends, he was the one left behind running things. I know I've blogged about him before, but without him, a lot, if not all, of the list would be impossible. So, I'm super grateful for him; he's a gem.
As for all the details, it's so hard to try to capture all of it succinctly. Since I've already blogged about most of the things on my list, I'm just going to mention other previously unmentioned highlights. I already blogged about Florida in March, so I won't repeat here, but I got to go again in November. This time I took Joonas along (because Emmi refused to come on account of a school field trip...lol). It was the perfect set up because Joonas spent all his days with my dad, golfing and swimming. We did spend time together as well, but Joonas loves my dad and he much preferred hanging out with him over shopping with my mom and I. I'm so grateful that my parents are in fairly good health and able to spend time with my kids. My dad turned 75 this year, so I do often feel like time is running out. But, we spent a fair bit of time with my parents this year and I know this is a wonderful blessing.
The kids new school opened in September. It is brand new and sparkling and all the kids get to attend the same school. But what stands out for me is the sense of community there and the feeling I get when I leave them there. No, the school isn't perfect, but my kids are learning the curriculum through the lens of the bigger story, which is the God story, and I love that! There was an incident in Joonas' class with the so-called mischief makers club, which Joonas was an active part of. I won't go into details, but the grace and the love and wisdom that the teachers used to deal with it all was beautiful.
My brother Henry. He came to Vancouver twice and it was so great!! Powell River in particular was amazing and unforgettable. What stands out to me is morning coffee on the beach and wine on the deck with Ruut. And so much conversation! My family are all big talkers, so conversation isn't surprising, but something about the beach and the fresh air and the whales (!!) and the food made all the conversations take on a golden hue. Also, I love how much my boys love Henry and how he invests time in them.
One of the highlights of both retreats was the personal connections made. I blogged about them before, but in particular the courage it took for me to get to know people. This fits in with my word of the year for 2018 which was STAY. My first instinct when things get uncomfortable or risky or emotional is to run. This year I had to stay. Seems silly and incomprehensible to an extrovert, but true nevertheless.
Speaking of connections, I attended a party for 7 of my Finnish friends who turned 50 this year. It was a huge party at a mansion in Maple Ridge and it was great! Those friends from my childhood who know my family and my grandparents and my whole story, you can't make friends like that at 45 anymore. The bonds are special and unbreakable.
So, on to 2019. I already know some fabulous things in store for the new year and I can't wait!!

Golfing: grandpa, Joonas and one of the MANY Finns
 Our beachfront view in Powell River.
 The 50 yr olds...
WCC ball hockey tournament.

Friday, November 9, 2018

choir retreat


When your weekend starts with singing and dancing in the car all the way to Whistler, you know it's going to be a good weekend! I think I may have shocked my friend Shelle when I started belting out the songs on our road trip playlist. When I added some dancing, I'm not sure that she recognized me anymore, lol. But, she adjusted and joined right in. We were the first to arrive at Whistler and settled into our suite, chilling out, drinking tea and listening to music. When the others arrived, I'm pretty sure they didn't expect to be greeted by blaring All About That Bass, but they didn't seem to mind either...in fact, Dee showed me her moves to the song the next day, lol.
It was such a perfect weekend that my heart is STILL full and it's been almost two weeks. It's hard for me to let people in. I can be very quiet and reserved and stand offish. Even when I am friendly, there are very few people that get to see the real me...the one without makeup, the one who just got outta bed and is still in pajamas, the one who dances around, the one who is so competitive she calls people "sucker" (sorry Dee). But that weekend I was free, and unencumbered and happy. It can't last of course; the walls are firmly back in place, lol. But it was nice to be real and to hang around with people who get me.
Shelle and I even went into the hot tub (gasp). I hate being seen in a swimsuit, but we had decided to do it and I'm glad we did. Originally, I had hoped that no one else would be there. That we could just chill without having to talk or be seen, lol. My wish came true on Friday night. On Saturday night, however, there were lots of people at the pools and we socialized A LOT and who knew, we loved it?? I even changed my mind about some people who I had unfairly decided that I didn't like. It's funny who turns out to be a great person when you actually get to know them (why have I still not learned this lesson?).
My suitemates were the best. We played games, we ate, we watched baseball (what?), we laughed, we snored (lol). My roommate was Dee, one of my favourite people! It's so interesting who God puts into your life and how unexpected and wonderful the friendships that form can be. I did not join the choir expecting to make any "real" friends. Anyway, we had some nice early morning conversations, we went for a walk, we sang, and she made me coffee! Anyone who makes me good coffee in the morning pretty well has my undying devotion, lol, but I already loved her before that.
I was sad when the weekend came to an end and we had to head back home. However, I did feel that for once I was able to stay in the moment and enjoy the weekend for all its worth. I often find that after a vacation or retreat or whatever, I regret not enjoying it fully. But that weekend was different. I loved every minute, while being fully present in every moment. Well, except maybe the baseball...lol

PS. The photo below is from my walk with Dee. I look awful, but in the spirit of authenticity, I'm posting it anyway :)

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Maureen


You never know where you'll meet a new friend or which friend will turn out to be a forever friend.
I met Maureen when I was 19. She was the head of HR at Eaton's and I was in my first year at Kwantlen, starting a new job at Eaton's part time. I was a little intimidated by her, but she seemed nice enough. When I noticed a Chuck Swindoll quote on the wall of her office, I realized that she might be a Christian. I asked her about it and as it turned out, she was (is). That knowledge created an immediate bond like no other. We were friendly when I worked at Eaton's, but she was in management and I was just a student. We would talk sometimes and I remember calling her when my youngest brother was hospitalized. She promised to pray for him, although I think she was quite surprised that I phoned her. (He recovered). Over my 7 years at Eaton's we had many opportunities to chat and get to know each other. I used to write her notes in class when I was super bored and leave them in her mail box. I remember us bonding over the death of Princess Diana and both showing up to work wearing black. She would tell me about her grandson Tyler and I would tell her about school and my family and eventually Pentti.
In 1999, Eaton's was closing and Pentti and I got married. Maureen and her husband Bob were at our wedding and Maureen gave a speech about our special friendship. She also revealed that she felt like she knew everyone because of my letters...lol. After Eaton's closed, we kept in contact, mostly through email. Our birthdays are 3 days apart, so we would often meet or at least email in the summer. We actually lost touch for a few years, with her working and my going into education and starting my teaching career. But, we reconnected again when I was home with both boys. We had lunch, we sometimes invited Pat (my former manager) and we emailed. I'm not sure when things changed, but as the years went by, we got closer instead of growing apart. In fact, Maureen has become one of my dearest friends. We've been meeting for coffee or lunch a little more frequently and there never seems to be a shortage of things to talk about. We talk about God, but also about shopping and the royals and books and pretty well whatever topic comes to mind. I always leave our coffee dates feeling grateful and refreshed and a little bit surprised that a few hours just flew by unnoticed, again. A sweet friendship really does refresh the soul (Proverbs 27:9).

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Christ City Women's Retreat

It has been three years since we joined Christ City and I find it's still hard to get to know new people in the quick conversations before and after church. Yes, I greet a lot of people on Sundays and in a lot of cases I even know their names. But, I don't feel like I actually KNOW them. I teach Sunday school, so I get to know which parents go with which kids, and I get to chat with whoever is serving with me on a particular Sunday. But it still doesn't come naturally and since I am an introvert, my dislike for small talk doesn't help either.
Anyway, the amazing thing is that I still feel at home at Christ City. I love it and I feel like it's exactly where we belong as a family. But in my effort to get to know people, I attended our women's retreat a couple weeks ago. I'm not going to lie, I was a little sorry that I had signed up when the actual day came around to leave for retreat. But, I had already paid and I truly believe in getting out of my comfort zone, so I made myself go. And of course it was wonderful! Just like two years ago, when I also forced myself to go. Do I never learn?
I drove up to Squamish and roomed with Julie. Julie is an introvert and a brilliant musician and a really knowledgeable, well-rounded person. I loved hanging around with her because we had some great conversations and she is so deep in her thinking. Interestingly, we both had similar things on our hearts and we were able to share and encourage each other. I learned a lot from her even in just three days.
I also got to know some ladies who I had not known previously at all. Since there are three gatherings at Christ City, it is possible to never see some of the people that attend my own church. This is unfortunate, but just the way it is. Anyway, I signed up for a hike on Saturday afternoon with 13 other ladies. It was such a great time of being outside, walking, talking and casually getting to know new people. The great thing about being outdoors is that I find that even extroverts don't mind silence in the woods, lol. Plus, there's always something to talk about if you want to talk, because the beauty all around provides endless fodder for discussion. Anyway, I got to know Julie (another one) and Ruth on that walk and I'm so glad I did!
Of course the retreat also included meals together and worship and games and teaching, but what I really took away from it all was the lovely people that I got to meet and know. It's always great when you get to know the people from your church and you find that you love your church even more as a result!!


Thursday, August 30, 2018

Powell River

We just got back from a glorious vacation to Powell River. I had rented a big beach house that fit three families comfortably, so we went up with my brother and his wife and my sister and her family joined us for the weekend. Renting from airbnb you aren't always sure what you'll actually get, but this place was way better than any of the pictures and beyond our expectations. There was a huge kitchen with everything, a hot tub, beach, hammock, rope swing, kayak, huge deck AND the place was sparkling clean! We had morning coffee on the beach listening to the waves of the ocean, we chilled, we relaxed, we read, we played Scrabble, we collected shells, we saw wildlife...it was kind of the dream vacation. I'm not sure what else I can say that adequately describes what a great time we had, so I'll just finish this post with a few pictures.







Sunday, July 29, 2018

Feeling Sad And Yet Grateful

I was very lucky to grow up in a Finnish Canadian church. It was a close knit community and a large part of what made it so wonderful was the bonds between the different generations. I was surrounded by peers, but also their parents as well as lots of grandparents. As immigrants, the grandparents weren't always ours, but they were older church people who formed an integral part of the community. Sometimes they were older people who gave us candy, and other times they were older people who scolded us for laughing and passing notes in church. Either way, they were an everpresent part of my childhood and shaped me into the person I am today.
So, what to do when there are less and less of those pillars still standing? Yesterday, I was at the memorial of yet another strong pillar from my Finnish community. I understand that it is part of the cycle of life and that every generation probably worries about what will happen when the older and wiser people are all gone. But really, what are we supposed to do? We have huge shoes to fill. 
I think back to one of the older ladies I knew growing up. She was actually one of the church founders and one of the strongest women I have ever known. I think back to my grandfather who was full of integrity and a zeal for learning. I think back to one of the (many) pastors we had stay at our house who was one of the wisest people I've ever known, but also a wicked Scrabble player with a fabulous sense of humour. I think back to my best friend's dad who was also a force in the world of education and shaped my thinking and education in many ways. All these people and many more are gone. It makes me sad and nostalgic but also tremendously grateful. I got to grow up around these wise, exemplary, generous people and have them shape my life. Hopefully the next generation (including me) steps up and tries to fill some of the gaping holes left behind by these wonderful people.

Monday, July 23, 2018

Team sports

We had our ball hockey team wrap up party last night. It was at coach Joe's house and it lasted more than SIX HOURS! There were lots of kids and lots of parents and it was great fun. We had food, we talked, we laughed. It made me realize that a great sports team is so much more than talented players. A great team really comes together when the kids become friends and the parents have fun together and the coaches find the right balance between being competitive and pushing the kids, and yet being supportive and encouraging. It sounds like a tall order and it is. No team is ever perfect and there is always room for improvement. But, when a team does come together and everyone has a great time, it makes the whole experience from start to finish so much more memorable. I'm going to miss seeing the ball hockey kids and parents...

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Friday night musings

"Age has given me what I was looking for my entire life-it has given me me. It has provided time and experience and failures and triumphs and time-tested friends who have helped me step into the shape that was waiting for me. I fit into me now. I have an organic life, finally, not necessarily the one people imagined for me, or tried to get me to have. I have the life I longed for. I have become the woman I hardly dared imagine I would be."
So...I am turning 45 in a week. Part of me is freaked out. Forty five just sounds so OLD. And yet, given the choice, I would not go back to any other decade of my life. I love my forties and like the quote above puts it so well, I have become the woman I hardly dared imagined I would be. I am still a work in progress, evolving and growing, but I finally feel like I am comfortable in my own skin and living the life I was meant to live.
I know that I am lucky and I am grateful every day that I get to love where I am and what I am doing. I have written about my love for teaching before, so I won't get into it here, but I know how blessed I am to be doing something that I feel like I am good at and meant to be doing.
I have three great kids and a supportive, loving husband. I have great friends, a church that I love, a caring family, two parents who are still married and in fairly good health. I am grateful for all of them, but I am also thankful that they are all supporting me in becoming more me. This sometimes comes at a price in that they challenge me, disagree with me or downright annoy me. Herein lies the dichotomy because although I want to be fully "me", comfortable in my own skin, I also want to grow and change and be challenged. So I have carefully surrounded myself with a tribe who does just that. And that makes me happy. I am finding joy in my journey; I'm happy where I am, but also happy with where I am going.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Older and Wiser

A friend recently asked if I have any friends who are younger than me. I took her question's subtext to mean whether I had any friends who weren't over 60. Funny, and for the record, the answer is yes. But, the truth of the matter is that I have quite a few close friends who are, in fact, over 60. Friendships happen for all kinds of reasons and I don't walk through life actively seeking friends, young, old or in between. But, I do often become friends with women older than me and this has always been the case.
One of my dearest friends is in her 70s. We became friends when we both worked at Eaton's. She took a risk one day and asked me whether I wanted to have dinner. I say risk, because extending an invitation to someone beyond the "circle" where you met is scary and could lead to rejection. Anyway, I accepted and we went out for dinner and it was great! I think she may be the only person who fully understands my dark, sarcastic side...who reads as much as me and who has an opinion on fixing the world which is close to mine. Obviously, she's a genius, lol.
One of my newest friends is from choir. Call it luck or providence or fate, but my spot in the soprano section ended up being next to her. She is funny and real and there is no pretense there. I love spending time with her and we laugh a lot. I can be myself and say what I think; I don't think there is anything that I wouldn't tell her. That's another thing about older women, they aren't shocked by what my unfiltered self blurts out. Or if they are, it doesn't phase them, lol. The stereotype of older ladies is the disapproving granny with the wagging finger. But, I actually find that to be more true of my peers. Oh, you don't feed your kids organic food? What, no swimming lessons? You let your kids play video games? You don't record every second of their music performance on your phone? Do you even love your kids??? Older women are much more big picture people. My choir friend has messaged me more than once about what a good mom I am. That's so much more encouraging and helpful than all the judgement from my peers.
Another close friend I met through church. This time I was the risk taker and invited her and her husband over for tea one evening. It wasn't risky in that I didn't think they'd say no, but it's not common for young couples to invite old couples to their house for tea. It seems a little weird. Like what could we possibly have in common? Anyway, they came over and it was a lovely visit. The wife and I became very good friends and she is one of the wisest women I know and not for the reasons you might think. She told me hilarious stories about herself and how she used to take things so seriously and some of the mistakes she had made. I'd like to think that I learned a lot from her.
And this brings me to one of the reasons that I tend to gravitate toward older ladies. They seem to have a much better perspective on life. They don't get tied up in knots over the little things because through experience, they understand what matters. One of my favourite authors has said, "Elderly woman know everything there is to know about everything there is to know." I don't think that that is quite true, but it's sure truer for someone who's 60 than for someone who is 20.
But, I think the biggest reason that I have lots of older friends is that they live wide open. This is not true of all older people, but it is of the ones that are my friends. They aren't out to prove anything, they aren't overly sensitive, they don't get hung up on small things. They embrace the ordinary and enjoy life for the fleeting breath that it is.

"When I die, I want to be wide open,
I don't want to be tight-fisted,
holding on to grudges or regrets.
I don't want to have my back up because I'm
still
defending the wall I've built
and the trenches I've dug and the
invisible
lines I've drawn.
When I die, I want to go wide open."   ~Deidra Riggs

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Are you trying to drift your way to holiness?


I have come to a startling conclusion: wanting to get closer to Jesus is not enough. The desire itself is noble and one that is hopefully shared by all believers, but it doesn’t actually produce a closer walk with Jesus. Growth does not happen by accident, osmosis or magic; it is hard work.

I don’t know how many years I spent wanting to grow in my faith without really praying or reading the Bible regularly. Now that I think back, it sounds ridiculous. But there I was not reading my Bible, not really praying, filling my time and my mind with “other” things and yet thinking that somehow by magic each year would bring me closer to Jesus. I think that I thought that I could “drift my way to holiness” like one preacher put it. I didn’t.
For four years now I have attended a weekly in-depth Bible study. It has involved daily homework and weekly lectures and discussions. I have learned a lot and I have prayed more than ever before. I feel like there has been real growth in my life. But it hasn’t been easy. Praying and studying the Bible require effort. In the past, I admit that I have sometimes thought that “prayer warrior types” are specially gifted from God to pray. And in some ways, they probably are, but they still need to put aside time to actually pray; that requires sacrifice.

Yes, we need grace and it’s all grace, even the growth that may occur in my life. However, even though “grace is opposed to earning, it is not opposed to effort” (Dallas Willard). I can’t earn my way to heaven, but I do need to put in the time and the effort to grow.


Monday, March 26, 2018

BOOKS!!




I am a total book nerd. I love reading! I read all kinds of fiction and non-fiction, fluff and serious books. What really gets me excited though, is a book that is well-written, in that the author has a beautiful way with words. I've read some engrossing books where the story has been worth reading, but the writing itself has been pretty awful. This is too often the case with YA fiction, which I do read sometimes.
Anyway, right now I am reading a book called Lillian Boxfish Takes A Walk. I love it for its story, but also for the author's mastery of language. I laughed out loud on the weekend as I was reading and came across these gems:
"Extending hospitality to all, even to the most cloddish, truly is the basis of civilization. The fact that the most cloddish, having nothing better to do, always show up and spoil the party for everyone else probably spells civilization's ultimate doom."
"Among the many unsurprising facts of life that, when taken in aggregate, ultimately spell out the doom of our species is this: People who command respect are never as widely known as people who command attention."

Monday, March 19, 2018

Teaching

I am a teacher. I have been teaching on and off between maternity leaves since 2001. I love teaching and I love watching kids get excited about learning. I only have a permanent job on Wednesdays and the rest of the week, I either teach on call, or stay home/chauffeur/volunteer/cook/clean etc. My Wednesday class is a job share, so there is another teacher there for four days a week. This makes it challenging to have any kind of cohesive program, but it is working really well, for now. There have been so many Wednesdays where I have had those "this is why I teach" moments; I love my job.
Teaching on call, for the first time in years, has been interesting and eye-opening. First of all, there are lots of great ideas about how different classrooms are run and I love getting to borrow lots of new ideas. I am constantly standing in hallways taking pictures of great bulletin board ideas. But there are also classrooms that make me sad. I have been in some classrooms where it is clear that there is no fun being had. The day plan consists of piles of worksheets, there is no student art brightening the classroom and no games, manipulatives, cards, dice or anything that would allow for free play. I know how laborious it can be to plan for a teacher on call, so I am sure that some of the worksheets can be chalked up to easier and more straightforward plans for a TOC. Regardless, when I look around a room and see nothing besides more worksheets, I wonder. What is it like to be in grade 1 and have no fun at school? What would make a child in that kind of class excited to learn? With the readymade exciting lessons available at the click of a button, with all the fantastic picture books that beautifully illustrate social responsibility and other great themes, with beautiful BC right outside the school, why is there still boring, repetitive, meaningless work being done in some classrooms?

PS. I try to go outside with my students as much as possible. Last week, we were studying Emily Carr, so we went outside to sketch trees. When it's gross outside, we get creative by doing things like indoor camping day...


Friday, March 16, 2018

West Palm Beach



I just spent six days alone, on a trip to Florida and it was glorious. My parents bought a condo in the fall and completely renovated it during the last few months. We had originally planned to go as a family, but the tickets during spring break were just ridiculous. So, I decided to fly out while school was still in session by myself. Kudos to Pentti who is so generous in letting me get away. He was the one who insisted I go alone, despite the fact that that meant him staying home alone with three kids and even taking time off work.
The trip was wonderful in every way. My mom did all the cooking; I haven't been that pampered/served by her in 20 years. Their condo was beautiful and had two swimming pools, a sauna, library, gym and a whole community of Finnish people. I think every person that I met in their complex was Finnish; it was pretty funny. In the evenings, the sauna was unsurprisingly full of Finnish ladies and it was neat to hear the Finnish chatter. The shopping was fantastic. I didn't actually end up buying very much, but there were so many great stores and outlets!
Coming home, I felt so grateful and refreshed and I am still basking in how great the trip was. It is so healthy to get away and have some time to myself. I feel like I am a better person since my trip and I would wish for every mom to have the chance to get away sometimes. Too bad not all husbands are like Pentti...

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Christmas Vacation

We had a gloriously long Christmas break that ended today. It's funny how each year, the break is the same amount of time and yet some years it feels too short and other years it feels wonderfully long. I think it may depend on where Christmas falls; if it's at the beginning, then you have more time to chill and loaf around afterwards.
We had a very busy few days around Christmas with family stuff, church stuff and choir stuff. But then things calmed down. We actually went out for New Year's which we have not done for many years. Now that Matias is old enough to babysit, we have more flexibility. It's always a bit nerve wracking to leave the kids home alone, but with cell phones and good neighbours, it's pretty safe. Anyway, my friend Mehj was housesitting and hosted a party with about 10 people. It was great fun. There was dinner and dessert and lots of cheese. If you can't have brie at Christmas, then when can you? Despite the fun, we didn't actually last until midnight, but whatever. It's not like it's 1999, lol.
Pentti went to work for a few days after New Year, but then took some more time off and we headed to Hope. No one else was at the house, so the 5 of us had the place to ourselves for 4 days. There was a tonne of snow and it stayed dry for the most part, despite the forecast. The kids spent hours and hours outside building a fort, sledding and just playing in the snow. It was great. The neighbour across the street who has a big sloping yard, built a sledding track and told us to come over. What a nice guy. I feel like that wouldn't happen in the "big city", but maybe I just hang around the wrong people?!
Of course we also went in the sauna and the boys and Pentti even rolled in the snow afterwards (as per crazy Finnish tradition). I am not insane, so I did not. We went to the used bookstore and out for Japanese food, all the things that we do every time we're in Hope. It was the perfect end to the holiday and because it came right before school started, the vacation felt that much longer after having "gone away".
PS. This year Emmi figured out that the elf on the shelf is fake. Thank goodness; that thing was the bane of my existence! But for now, Santa is still real :)