The Shack

I recently read The Shack by William P. Young. What a fantastic book! Basically, its about a guy named Mack who experiences a horrible family tragedy (the first 80 pages of the book). Three years later, he gets a letter from God to come meet him at the shack (which is where the tragedy occurred). Mack goes because he can't help himself. The ensuing conversations that take place at the shack are intense, thought-provoking, shocking and incredibly healing. There's a fair bit of controversy surrounding this book and some of its theology may be a bit off. But it definitely makes you think and its definitely worth reading. One of the best books I have read in a long time.

Rant about Montessori

**Warning: If you aren't interested in educational practices, you will find this post boring :) **
So Matias started preschool this month. He goes on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and seems to really enjoy it. They do the usual preschool stuff: singing, playing, art, snacktime, learning the alphabet, playground etc. I love that it’s a place where he feels safe, gets some social interaction, is allowed to freely explore and learns some new songs and routines. No, I did not put him into a Montessori preschool and quite frankly, I am against their whole philosophy.
There are so many parents who seem to think that Montessori preschools are somehow a cut above; that the elite and most caring parents enroll their kids in Montessori. I think they are seriously wrong. But first let me say that absolutely any preschool can have the title Montessori, so the title itself guarantees/means nothing. In fact, I would argue that most preschools that use the Montessori title don’t follow the Montessori philosophy at all and are just using the name to draw people. Second, kids who attend Montessori preschools often do poorly in regular classrooms because the philosophies in most kindergarten (elementary) classrooms are completely opposite to the Montessori method.
Okay, so what’s my beef with the Montessori method? They discourage playing and the use of the imagination. Toys are not allowed. Objects can only be used for their “real” purpose. You can’t pretend a block is a car, because that is wrong. Technically, they are correct in that a block is not a car. However, I don’t think 3 and 4 year olds need to be corrected when they are using their imaginations.
Each object in a Montessori classroom is meant to be used in a particular way and for one specific purpose. This purpose is demonstrated to enforce this point. I find this completely inflexible and stifling.
To discourage play in 3 and 4 year olds is (to me) a crime. Kids already grow up too fast. They need to play, in order to have fun, but also in order to learn. Kids make sense of the world through free play. They need to be imaginative because it helps them think outside the box later in life.
In Montessori schools, the kids work. They actually call it work!! I think that’s crazy. The kids who had the hardest time in my kindergarten class were the ones who didn’t know how to play. They would ask me for extra work. If they had to choose an activity, they would stand in front of the sign up and pick nothing because free play was a foreign concept. Sorry to say, but these same kids were also the ones who had very few friends. So, even though academically, they may have been doing well, socially they were lagging.
I am sure that there are kids who thrive under such rigid structure and enjoy “working” independently. But at 3 years old, I want Matias to feel uninhibited by reality, letting his imagination run wild. I want him to explore things without having to limit his mind to their “real” and intended purposes. I want him to learn to care for others by playing and interacting with them. So, I would never put Matias in a Montessori preschool.

Sometimes the old way really was better!

I hate change. Not because I never want to try anything new, but because change that comes from without is rarely for the better. I believe in personal growth (change), technological advancements (change), and all those other kinds of change that come along with aging (getting wiser) and the dynamic nature of the universe. BUT. As the saying goes, To change and to change for the better are two different things.
I remember when I used to work at Eaton’s they used to make a big deal at training sessions that we had to be “change-willing”. The problem with that was that in the seven years that I worked there, there was ONE positive change (new cash registers). The rest of the changes were stupid, time-consuming and usually complicated the lives of all the salespeople. Of course everyone knows the ultimate fate of Eaton’s. It went belly up.
So this week Pentti “upgraded” (changed) our tv/pvr system. Guess what? It no longer works properly. It stalls. It skips. It crashes. Thanks for the “improvements”, but I was fine with the old system. But that system is of course irretrievably gone forever. Great.
Also this week, the powers that be at facebook decided to force everyone into a new format. Guess what? NOT better. I hate it. It’s confusing and messy and hard to navigate. I don’t know anyone who likes the new format. The only upside is that I will be spending much less time facebooking :D
I also seem to be cursed with liking products that are doomed to “tweaking” which, again, are rarely improvements. My favourite toner is now blue (instead of clear) and doesn’t work as well for my skin as the old formula. My favourite salad at Cactus Club has been taken off the new menu. The formula for Oxiclean was changed and no longer takes out stains as well as it used to. Again, thanks a lot.
So, change sucks. I know, I sound like an old lady. But that’s okay. After all, my Spanish professor at UBC told me about 10 years ago already that I had the soul of a 50 year old woman. He was an old and wise gray-haired intellectual, so I took it as a compliment. That would make me (or my soul anyway) 61 :D

Back to School

So, today was back to school for the kids and teachers around here. But not for me. At 8 am when I woke up, I was not late for work. I wandered downstairs in my pajamas (with Joonas in tow) and made myself a nice hot latte. I fed the boys breakfast and thought about exercising. Hmmm. I ran on the treadmill, while the boys played. We went for a walk, and had some lunch. Then it was nap time, and they are actually both napping :)

My mat leave is up in October, but I am going to stay home with the boys for at least another year. So, I didn't have the usual back to school stuff to think about. I didn't have to pack a lunch. I didn't have to set up my classroom. I didn't have to attend any staff meetings (YAY!!!). I didn't have to make any small talk with parents. I didn't have to do playground duty. BUT. I also didn't get to see any excited students. I didn't get to chat with my colleagues. I didn't get to have those nervous, excited, happy, tired feelings that go along with the beginning of another school year. Oh well. There are days when I really really miss teaching....How much I miss it varies from day to day and is directly related to whether my own two boys are driving me crazy or not. Still, even on the "bad" days, I would rather be at home taking care of my own two kids than at school taking care of someone else's. Fortunately, today has been a good, calm day and so I am quite happy to be at home, rather than sitting in some mind-numbingly boring staff meeting. School for the kids only lasts an hour on the first day, but for teachers, it goes on until 3pm. Depending on what time that staff meeting is scheduled, and how many annoying teachers there are who ask lame, redundant questions, it can go on and on and on and on...

Anyway, there are some things that I miss about being at school, because I really do like my job. I miss some of the students. I had one boy in my grade 3 class a few years ago who drove all teachers nuts. Other teachers came to tell me that they felt sorry for me because he had been assigned to my class. You know what? I thought he was awesome. Yeah, he was really hyper and loud and annoyed the other kids. But, he was hilarious too. When he got really excited, he would stand in front of everyone, play his air guitar and sing "Ole, ole, ole, ole". He wasn't "bad", he just found it really hard to contain himself. Maybe because I liked him, he noticed and was better for me? Who knows, but I never had any problems with him. I had another kid in that same class who was an awesome writer. During free writing, he came up with the craziest, most original stories. I used to look forward to reading his notebook (which he let me keep at the end of the year). Another kid was the most amazing drawer. At 8 years old, he could draw better than anyone I know. In another grade 3 class that I had, the kids were really sweet. Some of the girls wrote me letters years after they had "graduated" from my class. Quite a few of them would show up in my class after school begging for little jobs so they could hang around after school.

So, anyway, with schools starting again today, I suppose that I am feeling a little nostalgic. But then I remember: That because of dropping enrolment, I would have been surplussed and sent to a new school. That meet the teacher night is in September. That there is never enough money to properly set up classrooms, so teachers have to pay for things from their own pockets or have super anemic classroom supplies. That Gordon Campbell is an idiot and so is his peon Shirley Bond, the minister of education. That report cards are laborious to write. That the photocopier always has a line up at the beginning of the year. That the staff fridge will smell by Friday. Etc. Etc. And guess what? Nostalgia gone.

Commiseration

My mommy friends were over today with their kids. It was great!! The kids played (all five of them) and the moms sat around drinking coffee. Thankfully our kids play fairly well together, so that we can actually sit down and have coffee, rather than spending the entire 2.5 hours chasing after fighting kids. Yes, there was some noise, and running, and the occasional squabble about a toy. But overall, we could relax and let the kids play.This is no small feat when you consider that there were five kids (all mobile) in a small space peacefully co-existing. But I have decided that it comes down to the parenting....

Friends are important at any time in your life, but I think that they are absolutely crucial if you are at home with little kids. And I think "mommy" friends are the only friends that really need to be somewhat like-minded, or at least on the same page when it comes to parenting styles. I will never bond with the hippy moms who let their kids run wild, because I find it exhausting to parent their kids on top of my own. I will never bond with the super active moms, because come on, I will never go hiking up the Grouse Grind with one of my kids in a back pack. Why would I when I can call over one of my likeminded mom friends and sit on my butt drinking coffee and eating fresh-baked brownies instead:) I will never become close with the "perfect" moms, the ones who pretend that they are never frustrated and are full of platitudes about the loveliness of children. And I will never understand the partygirl moms whose kids seem to be an afterthought and a hinderance to their clubbing and drinking.
The moms I am friends with are educated and have had careers. They like to read, a lot. And yes, they STILL read even though they have kids. Because either you are an avid reader or you aren't. If you stop reading because you have kids, you are not an avid reader. Avid readers can't live without reading. Books, real books. But I digress. My mom friends love good food, and in most cases, are culinary geniuses themselves (although this is not a requirement...lol). They set boundaries for their kids and they try to provide stimulation and creative outlets. They also see the value of play and arrange regular playdates for their kids. They don't freak out if your house isn't spotless, because theirs isn't either. They always show up at your door with something to eat so that you don't have spend your morning baking up a storm (unless you have a particularly strong craving for brownies like I did this morning....) But most of all, they are just real. Real women who talk about real feelings. Frustrations, lack of sleep, being underappreciated, husbands, kids, work, cooking, books, current events.

So, I am so grateful to have found mommy friends who make my life better. I have known these particular moms since Matias was less than 1. Our kids play nicely and we can just hang out and commiserate. And when we're done, the world just feels like a better, lighter place.

happy anniversary

Today is wedding anniversary number 9. Crazy how time flies! We aren't really celebrating much today. We're going to celebrate on the weekend, when my sister can watch the kids. Although to be honest, I am celebrating by going to the Gipsy Kings concert. Pentti is coming with me, but he is coming, not to celebrate, but as one of those martyred, self-sacrificing gestures one makes in the name of marriage. Ah, wedded bliss. Perhaps he will have a good time in spite of himself? That depends on whether he is allowed to surf on his (blackberry type) Nokia phone during the concert:)
Anyway, for our anniversary, I thought I would share our song. Well, we have more than one, but this particular song is one Pentti has promised to sing to me on our 50th wedding anniversary because (according to him) it reminds him of me. By the way, that would be in 41 years, at which point I would "only" be 76, so it could actually happen :)The song is below along with a very rough translation for those who don't read Finnish.
ps. yes, the wedding photo is actually us, except our hands have a weird orange tanorexic hue, which they did NOT have on the actual day nine years ago...

Runo By J. Karjalainen
Kun sinut näin, olin kääntää sivua
Olit niin hienon ja taiteellisen näköinen
Että pelkäsin sinua
Kuin lumottuna kuitenkin sua katselemaan jäin
Ja ihmettelen vieläkin sua
Tavaillen näin
Olet runoni
Vaikea ymmärtää
Olet niin kaunis että
Tahtoisin yrittää
Ei mulla koskaan ole ollut mikään kovin hyvä lukupää
Usein hyvä kirjakin multa puoliväliin jää
Mutt’ lukemista sun en tahdo lopettaa
En vaikka koville se kyllä joskus ottaa
Kun
Sanot yhtä
Tarkoitat toista
Merkitset kolmatta
Etkä edes odota että pysyisin perässä
Olet runoni
Vaikea ymmärtää
Tehtävä tää
Mua alkaa miellyttää
Aikeesi sun, pikkuhiljaa selviää
Alusta loppuun uudestaan ja uudestaan
Mulla on aikaa
Sua lukea saa

My Poem By J. Karjalainen
When I saw you, I almost turned the page
You were so fine and artistic looking
You had me scared
But I kept staring anyway, like one captivated
I still wonder at you
And I say...
You are my poem
Difficult to understand
You are so beautiful
I’d like to try my hand
I’ve never been much of a reader
Even good books end up half way read
But reading you I will never stop
Even though some days it can take all that I've got
Because
You say one thing
Mean another
Infer a third
And you don’t even expect me to keep up
You are my poem
Difficult to understand
I am starting to like
This challenge of mine
Your thinking is slowly coming clear
I have time
To read you

Hope, BC

Anyone who knows me at all, knows that I am so NOT a low-maintenance nature girl. I hate Birkenstocks. I need a shower. Bugs make me crazy. And yet...there is something to be said for communing with nature. Or at the very least, getting away from the big city. Right now I am sitting on the terrace of my parent's second home in Hope (drinking coffee of course). There is a light breeze swaying the leaves on the trees in the backyard. Water is rushing down the creek as the occasional butterfly floats by. The thermometer reads 27 C. It is the perfect summer day. And even though I am no granola girl, it feels peaceful and calming to be here, in this little backwater town, closer to nature and fresh air. In fact, whenever we get off Highway 1 and enter the city of Hope, with its two grocery stores, one theatre, no Starbucks and couple of gas stations, I often find myself sighing with relief. Like here I am again where I can breathe and relax. No crazy traffic. Nowhere that I have to be. Just enjoying life one moment at a time. Of course, if we didn't have two kids under 4 with us, it would take me to a whole other level of relaxation, but still ;)