ONLY A PERSON WHO RISKS IS FREE
by Author Unknown
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your dreams,
before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the
greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing,
have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes they are slaves;
they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
I have to laugh at myself. I was looking through archives of my blog and found a piece I had written a few years ago about how change is evil. Fast forward to present-day and I am advocating taking risks.
But. This is a good thing. I have (hopefully) changed and grown as a person and so my opinions have evolved. In the last year or so, I have consciously decided to get out of my comfort zone. I have signed up for things which have scared me or made me feel uncomfortable. Some of the risks have been successful and some have not. But every single one has been a learning experience. Even a risk that has resulted in failure has still produced new understanding and knowledge. But, if you risk nothing, you gain nothing.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Always Right?
Do you want to be right, or do you want to keep the peace?
I came across this quote in a magazine and it really struck a chord. See, I have this overwhelming desire/need/obsession to be right. All the time. Ask Pentti…he knows.
Well, I have decided that I need to let go of being right all the time. Having strong opinions and knowing what’s right is commendable, but I tend to do that to a fault. If my opinion is always the right one, then that means everyone else is always WRONG. That’s not possible. And, it’s highly self-righteous and obnoxious. So, I’ve come up with a new motto, which is actually found in the Bible: “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy”. Don’t know how long it’ll last, but I’m gonna give it a try.
I came across this quote in a magazine and it really struck a chord. See, I have this overwhelming desire/need/obsession to be right. All the time. Ask Pentti…he knows.
Well, I have decided that I need to let go of being right all the time. Having strong opinions and knowing what’s right is commendable, but I tend to do that to a fault. If my opinion is always the right one, then that means everyone else is always WRONG. That’s not possible. And, it’s highly self-righteous and obnoxious. So, I’ve come up with a new motto, which is actually found in the Bible: “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy”. Don’t know how long it’ll last, but I’m gonna give it a try.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Parents and Teachers
The tables will soon be turned and I will be the “parent” and someone else will be the “teacher” when Matias starts kindergarten in the fall. Here are some of the things that I will avoid doing, which annoy teachers (or at least this teacher):
-if a notice comes home that says “cut here”, I will cut it and keep the top half that is for me
-I will show up for conferences with the teacher, (preferably at the scheduled time)
-I will not ask the teacher to provide extra homework if I choose to take my child out of school
-if the teacher has a rule, like no birthday cakes to school, then I will NOT bring a birthday cake to school
-I will not buy cheap crap from the dollar store as a gift; a $5 gift card to Starbucks is always a better choice or even just a handmade card
-I will not drop off my older son with the younger one in tow and then hang around after the bell letting the younger sibling run wild in the classroom
-I will make sure my child is on time for school
-I will check my child’s backpack for notices etc
-I will not use the classroom as an economical birthday party venue and waste an entire afternoon of class time having a birthday party for my child
-if notices and permission slips are not returned, I will take responsibility rather than blaming my child
-I will not phone the classroom teacher/my child during school hours unless it’s an emergency
-I will not send chips and cookies with pop as a lunch for my child
-I will not refuse to pick up my child if he is sick
-If my child is not super keen about school, I will try to find a way to make it interesting, rather than resorting to medication to “help him focus”
-I will not go to the school to video every single dance/walk/pajama day/etc
-I will not send my child to school if he is sick
-I will not send my child to school with money, toys, or shoes that light up and/or sing
-I will not refuse to meet my child’s teacher saying “I’m too busy”
These are the ones that come to mind right now. Sadly, they are all things that I have witnessed at school. Some are trivial, like forgetting to cut the notice on the dotted line. Others are plain sad. I hope that next year, when I become the “parent” in the parent-teacher relationship, I could have a positive relationship with my child’s teacher. I have had the privilege to work with many wonderful parents and I aspire to be like them.
-if a notice comes home that says “cut here”, I will cut it and keep the top half that is for me
-I will show up for conferences with the teacher, (preferably at the scheduled time)
-I will not ask the teacher to provide extra homework if I choose to take my child out of school
-if the teacher has a rule, like no birthday cakes to school, then I will NOT bring a birthday cake to school
-I will not buy cheap crap from the dollar store as a gift; a $5 gift card to Starbucks is always a better choice or even just a handmade card
-I will not drop off my older son with the younger one in tow and then hang around after the bell letting the younger sibling run wild in the classroom
-I will make sure my child is on time for school
-I will check my child’s backpack for notices etc
-I will not use the classroom as an economical birthday party venue and waste an entire afternoon of class time having a birthday party for my child
-if notices and permission slips are not returned, I will take responsibility rather than blaming my child
-I will not phone the classroom teacher/my child during school hours unless it’s an emergency
-I will not send chips and cookies with pop as a lunch for my child
-I will not refuse to pick up my child if he is sick
-If my child is not super keen about school, I will try to find a way to make it interesting, rather than resorting to medication to “help him focus”
-I will not go to the school to video every single dance/walk/pajama day/etc
-I will not send my child to school if he is sick
-I will not send my child to school with money, toys, or shoes that light up and/or sing
-I will not refuse to meet my child’s teacher saying “I’m too busy”
These are the ones that come to mind right now. Sadly, they are all things that I have witnessed at school. Some are trivial, like forgetting to cut the notice on the dotted line. Others are plain sad. I hope that next year, when I become the “parent” in the parent-teacher relationship, I could have a positive relationship with my child’s teacher. I have had the privilege to work with many wonderful parents and I aspire to be like them.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
The Things I Miss (sometimes)
I really love my boys. They are so cute and funny. They constantly surprise me and say things that make me laugh. And yet, there are things that I miss sometimes, from those carefree days before kids...
-sleeping in. I am lucky since Pentti often gets up with the boys, but then I feel really guilty, so this still applies.
-putting on clothes in the morning and not worrying that anyone would wipe his face, nose or jammy hands (or worse) on them
-leaving the house without a suitcase full of wipes, extra food, extra clothes, toys etc.
-being able to leave my stuff anywhere and everywhere and knowing that no one else would touch it, or mess with it, or break it
-eating in peace. without having to share.
-spontaneity, as in being able to leave the house in minutes. Now, there are potty breaks, negotiations, tantrums, packing that suitcase of "stuff" to bring along. It is not possible to leave the house, be in the car and on the road in less than 20 minutes. Am I doing something wrong?
-quiet.
Despite all these, I enjoy the boys so much! I (obviously) wouldn't trade them for anything. Still, there are things that I miss about pre-kid life.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Winners and Losers
I was shocked last night while watching the Oscars. I hadn't seen any of the movies and didn't really care who received the Oscar. What shocked me that for the first time in a really long time, they used the words, "and the winner is". For quite some time now, if you have been paying attention, they have been saying "and the award goes to...". NEVER the winner. I guess in the climate of political correctness, it is too shocking to announce a "winner" since that implies that there is a loser. The truth that there is in fact usually one winner and lots of losers has been beside the point. No one should be made to feel bad. It's about the journey. We are all winners for trying. Blah blah blah.
So, I was really surprised to hear over and over on last night's show that they were announcing the WINNER. Good for whoever made that decision. Because let's face it. If I run a race, or take a test, I care who wins. Let's not pretend that we are all winners, since come on, some people are losers. And if we're really honest, all people are losers...at something. So tell the truth.
And since we're on this topic, who are we really helping in pretending that no one ever fails? Some of my friends who have kids have laughed at how teachers (like me) write report cards so that you need a degree in report card encoding in order to understand them. They are right, but it wasn't my decision to hide the truth. Because that's what we're really doing. Instead of coming out and saying your kid is disruptive and has no friends because he annoys everyone around him, I have to say something like "X has found the class expectations to be challenging and is working on becoming a group member". The latter statement may be easier to swallow, but wouldn't you rather know the truth?
Maybe not. Maybe people want to be lied to because the truth is too hard to deal with. Not me. I believe in healthy competition. I believe that in order to grow as a person you have to be self-aware enough to realize that you have failures in certain areas. That you need to try harder if you want to be first. That someone who comes in first deserves recognition. Yes, I also believe in the importance of the journey and trying to do your personal best. But at the same time, let's not kid ourselves and hide the truth.
So, I was really surprised to hear over and over on last night's show that they were announcing the WINNER. Good for whoever made that decision. Because let's face it. If I run a race, or take a test, I care who wins. Let's not pretend that we are all winners, since come on, some people are losers. And if we're really honest, all people are losers...at something. So tell the truth.
And since we're on this topic, who are we really helping in pretending that no one ever fails? Some of my friends who have kids have laughed at how teachers (like me) write report cards so that you need a degree in report card encoding in order to understand them. They are right, but it wasn't my decision to hide the truth. Because that's what we're really doing. Instead of coming out and saying your kid is disruptive and has no friends because he annoys everyone around him, I have to say something like "X has found the class expectations to be challenging and is working on becoming a group member". The latter statement may be easier to swallow, but wouldn't you rather know the truth?
Maybe not. Maybe people want to be lied to because the truth is too hard to deal with. Not me. I believe in healthy competition. I believe that in order to grow as a person you have to be self-aware enough to realize that you have failures in certain areas. That you need to try harder if you want to be first. That someone who comes in first deserves recognition. Yes, I also believe in the importance of the journey and trying to do your personal best. But at the same time, let's not kid ourselves and hide the truth.
Monday, January 25, 2010
The Givers And The Hoarders
I have decided that there are two kinds of people. First, there are the ones who want to help you and pass on any of the life lessons that they have learned. They have found some great website, or store, job posting, or recipe, or place and they want to share their find with you. They want to save you time. Here’s the info, so you can be spared the leg work that I had to do. Second are the “hoarders”. They don't share information or stuff because in doing so they think that they are giving you an unfair advantage. They had to work hard, or research or search for something, so why should you get it for free?
Unfortunately, I have come across a lot of people who fit into the latter category. Since I work with primarily teachers, a lot of these “hoarders” that I have run into lately have been teachers. I find this highly ironic. Teachers are the ones who teach social responsibility. They are the ones that you find constantly droning on and on about sharing and working together. And yet, the reality is that a lot of teachers are hyper sensitive, hermit types who hoard all their ideas and lessons and resources to themselves. They don’t share.
Thankfully, there are also those who fit into the former category. Teachers who offer you books, and lessons, and music and even entire units. Teachers who clean out their bookshelves and donate extra books to you. Teachers whose support you can count on.
Teaching to me is (or should be) collegial. Teachers should be engaged in an ongoing conversation about practise and theory and ideas. Teachers should be role models of sharing and communicating and working together.
So, last week I was faced with a dilemma. I had gotten some cool units on the Olympics from an awesome teacher friend. Should I share them with my colleagues? Normally, this would be a no-brainer, but these were colleagues who had never shared with me and had in fact gone out of their way to exclude me. Should I be the bigger person? Should I act according to my beliefs or according to what they deserved? I decided (begrudgingly) to be the bigger person and share. May I never become one of "those" teachers who forgets that everything I need to know (about sharing) I learned in kindergarten.
PS. The teachers did not so much as glance at the units I offered. I am wondering whether perhaps the hoarder-types are also all-knowing and not in need of any help from anyone?
Unfortunately, I have come across a lot of people who fit into the latter category. Since I work with primarily teachers, a lot of these “hoarders” that I have run into lately have been teachers. I find this highly ironic. Teachers are the ones who teach social responsibility. They are the ones that you find constantly droning on and on about sharing and working together. And yet, the reality is that a lot of teachers are hyper sensitive, hermit types who hoard all their ideas and lessons and resources to themselves. They don’t share.
Thankfully, there are also those who fit into the former category. Teachers who offer you books, and lessons, and music and even entire units. Teachers who clean out their bookshelves and donate extra books to you. Teachers whose support you can count on.
Teaching to me is (or should be) collegial. Teachers should be engaged in an ongoing conversation about practise and theory and ideas. Teachers should be role models of sharing and communicating and working together.
So, last week I was faced with a dilemma. I had gotten some cool units on the Olympics from an awesome teacher friend. Should I share them with my colleagues? Normally, this would be a no-brainer, but these were colleagues who had never shared with me and had in fact gone out of their way to exclude me. Should I be the bigger person? Should I act according to my beliefs or according to what they deserved? I decided (begrudgingly) to be the bigger person and share. May I never become one of "those" teachers who forgets that everything I need to know (about sharing) I learned in kindergarten.
PS. The teachers did not so much as glance at the units I offered. I am wondering whether perhaps the hoarder-types are also all-knowing and not in need of any help from anyone?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Life Lessons
I came across these life lessons (written by Regina Brett) on the net and decided to share them, since I thought there were some good ones there:
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
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