Day fortyseven
One of my friend's had a great post today about what is your colour? If you had to choose one colour to represent who you are, what would it be? I have a few very cerebral friends who would find the question itself ridiculous and unanswerable. Pentti would probably say he doesn't even understand what the question means. But I do. My colour is grey. If you know me at all, this does not come as a surprise to you. If you've been in my living room, for example, it is all shades of grey. I like the rain and gloomy days and fog and songs in the minor keys. One of my favourite authors of all time is Dostoevsky. I was just telling a friend yesterday about how I miss the old UBC Sedgewick (underground) library and the old book stacks at the (old) main library. Studying in those dark, gloomy libraries on a rainy day brought me joy. And that's the irony in all this. I love the dark, gloomy places and things, but they actually make me happy. I'm not sure that anyone would actually call me a dark and gloomy person, I just happen to like the melancholy found in those kinds of places. I rarely get depressed and I am actually fairly joyful. But to recharge my introverted soul, I need quiet, heavy places, not sunshine and butterflies and definitely not people.
What's interesting to me is how other people (who don't know me well) perceive me. One friend calls me her "sunshine angel". This would be hilarious if she were being sarcastic, but she's not. She says seeing me brings sunshine and makes her happy. I bet she would guess that my colour is yellow, lol. Another friend would probably say my colour is black because she thinks I hate everyone. This is not so far from the truth, lol, but still not quite accurate either. She doesn't understand my critical nature or my need to examine things a little deeper. She thinks I'm negative and that's why I think she'd choose black. A third friend would probably say my colour is pink because I am "sweet and thoughtful". She actually calls me a sweetheart and says that I am so outgoing and friendly. She could not be more wrong.
Just to be clear, I don't hate sunshine or flowers or sweet delicate things. But in my core, what speaks to me is the grey.
