Question: part two

If you read my earlier post about questioning, you'd know that I always question things. You cannot be discerning if you don't ask questions. I still believe this wholeheartedly. But I have a small problem. I came across someone else's writing about questions from the same writing challenge that I did last week. And she said, "when question everything becomes a stand-in for 'trust no one', it turns inward on itself". Oh dear. You see, I have a really, really hard time trusting people. So, even though I stand by my belief that questions are good, perhaps I need to re-evaluate. If questioning everything and everyone does indeed lead to trusting no one, then that leads to a quagmire of doubt that is really hard to climb out of. You can't live your life not trusting anyone. So, perhaps questions need to be limited after someone has proven that they can in fact be trusted. At some point you have to take some degree of risk and just decide to trust someone.

I do have a friend that I trust. She has never been anything but trustworthy. She has told me that our friendship is unconditional. This actually really shocked me when she said it. I had always considered friendships to be conditional. That we'd be friends, but then if it stopped being fun or convenient or easy, the friendship would end. Not so with this particular friend. We've talked about being committed to the friendship. Sometimes there is friction or misunderstanding or annoyance. But we have discussed the fact that we will work through whatever comes, that we will talk about it. We have recognized that a close friendship can sometimes be a lot of work. But we are determined to remain friends. 

But getting back to questioning....if you asked her whether I've ever questioned her, or doubted her or been wary, she'd have to tell you that I have. And that's really terrible. She is my closest friend. She has never been anything besides true and honest and trustworthy. She is the one friend that I am sure of.

And there you have it. Questioning is a good thing. But, so is trust. So, once again, as with everything else in life, there needs to be a balance.