Do you let people in to your mess? I'm not talking about the internal mess that you hide behind invisible walls of perfection. I'm talking about your literal, physical mess. The one in your house. Or maybe your home is immaculate, in which case you can stop reading now...
But my house is not. Or at least it isn't on a random Thursday when we are not expecting visitors. When I'm hosting people and it's on the calendar, there's a lot of cleaning and organizing and honestly stressing out that goes on. Sometimes it's good to have that extra motivation to just get things done. I've often joked that if I want to clean my house, I should plan a party and that'll guarantee that things will get done. Then when my house is sparkling, I can let people in and feel confident that they won't judge. I can feel good about being such a "good hostess".
But, what about when my kitchen floor is covered in crumbs and the morning dishes are still in the sink? Will I let anyone see that? That's what my house looks like most of the time, so why don't I want anyone to see that? Why would I want to pretend that the sparkling version of my house is the norm? There is something very vulnerable about letting someone in to see how you really live; it's a form of self-disclosure. There is a very short list of people that I would let in to see that. But I read that close friendships don't get built at Olive Garden (the restaurant). So, I am trying.
Yesterday I invited a friend over for coffee after our lunch date. I had no idea what my house would look like, but I was pretty sure it would not be sparkling. I was right. It wasn't a total disaster, but the kitchen was a mess, no one had vacuumed, the dining table was covered in junk...I could go on. But as we sat on the deck having pie and frozen yogurt, did it really matter? We were relaxed, not sitting formally at a table, there was no server interrupting our conversation, there were no other people to consider. It was casual and unhurried and perfect, despite the mess.
